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I remember Momma…

My mom passed on November 16th, 2016. Just 35 days before her 82nd birthday. We’ve been back from Texas for about 2 years, living with her, helping to take care of her, etc.  She steadily grew worse over the last 10-11 months. Recently before she passed, we found out that in this time frame she had experienced two mini strokes and a mild heart attack.

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Nan and Leah

This was her with her great-grand baby a little under 6 years ago. She was a vibrant lady. I remember her going out bowling, to dances and everywhere. We took ceramic classes together when I was a ‘tweener. She raised my oldest daughter when I was lost and adrift on a sea of zombie induced heroin addiction.

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This is my oldest daughter, Jenn.

She prayed and cried! She packed bags of food and would ride up into Baltimore City with her girlfriend “Marge” to drop off money or food. She would pray and pray and she was able to finally rest every time she accepted the collect call from the jail. She knew I was safe and off the streets! She knew I had enough to eat, had a shower, soap, clean clothes, toothbrush and paste and the glorious 3 hots and a cot.  Then, she could finally sleep through the night.

So would hope against hope that I would get myself together. And eventually I did. Thank God I was done with all that 15 years ago. Toward the end, when the dementia set in, she would call me Juanita. That was her brother, Bud’s wife. Juanita has been gone for a long time.  She would say, “I know you are Barbara, but what happened to Juanita”? Often she would ask, “What day is this?” or “Where is Tia?”-

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This is her with Tia for her Homecoming in Oct. 2016

she’s my youngest daughter (who is 16).  She always wanted to know where all of my children were.  Oh and even though towards the end of her days, she loved that great grand baby. My oldest daughter, and my brother Lenny and his wife, Jo Ann, well, let’s just say we weren’t her favorites.

She was mean as a snake one minute, and the next minute, she was as happy as a lark.  It was emotionally hard for everyone. I can honestly tell you there were days that I lost my temper! I mean I really lost it. And then I would pray and cry and ask both her and the Lord to forgive me. They always say take the bad with the good, because one day, they’ll be gone.

They were right! I’d love to see her give me the evil stare one more time! One more time, to here her say, “Where’s Juanita?” Or yell or laugh or what ever. I miss her. Alot! We thought we had more time. No one realized that 1 week after they put her on hospice, she would be gone. She was.

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my babies all grown up

My brother, his wife and my youngest brother Gene, decided it would be good for me to keep her house. My 16 year old could finish out her education in the High School she was going too. But that was a dream. According to the way she wrote her will, everything was to be sold and split between her 3 children, 3 grandchildren and 1 great grand baby. No way around it. So here I sit writing this 33 days after she had passed packing up her stuff and preparing to celebrate Christmas one last time. Surrounded by all of her stuff for 1 more go round.

I have 15 days to move into an apartment. We did get accepted but we still need funds to be able to pay for the electric deposit, rental deposit and the first months rent. I am asking that you send this link around as we are trying to raise funds on “Gofundme.com”

Here’s the link to the Go fund me page

If you can help, please help. If you can’t, please pray, send good thoughts and remember us as well gather for our first holiday without her. Cherish your family, friends, loved ones! Do it now because you don’t know when will be your last time with them. Give them an “I love you” every time you walk out, say good bye over the phone or text!!

Until next time,

Be a Passion Junkie by loving those around you and allowing them to love you.

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This is THE passion junkie–ME!

How the seasons can impact recovery

Here’s an interesting article on how the changing of the seasons can effect us.

Click here to read the post from “The Addictions Help Center”

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Remember to celebrate the little tiny things that make each day a gift to be opened and enjoyed

Reflections

This deserves a press….what an awesome reflection on a past refection…new pictures of the family at the bottom….We are back in Baltimore Maryland awaiting the next assignment but loving time with all of the family…

ENJOY!

When I look back on the road that I have traveled, I rejoice at the choices that brought me to where I am today. I’ve packed up and moved my household 5 times in my life. Twice we moved to Gastonia…

Source: Reflections

Coping Skills

We’ve talked about a lot of things…now it’s time to look at triggers and coping skills.  A trigger or triggering event is anything that starts you down the path to a relapse.  The rooms stress changing people, places and things. While that is a good start, it’s not the only things that can trigger an addict in recovery. Smells, objects, a song, a neighborhood, a needle on the ground, a lighter, and the list goes on and on. Don’t forget times of the year, payday, Friday, Christmas, New Year, hell any day really, depending on your mood.

Here are a few lists that you can read through that can help you deactivate your triggers once they go off in your head.

This first sheet is from boys’ town and was pinned on Pinterest (My favorite place)

coping skills from boystown

Hope this helps. Please let me know what you would like to talk about.